Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Following a listless December, during which I was dreading Christmas and barely coping with life, I didn't seem to have the energy to get anything done. But the break seems to have done me good, and although it may be July before I have fixed the gear cable on my bike, I am a lot more active. One hurdle I have crossed is that I am not afraid of trying to go a night without drinking. That's not to say I didn't use to do this pretty regularly, but I looked on it as a chore, and slept really badly. Now I can do it with no effort at all, and I feel much better. A good night's sleep with no hangover means I can face muesli and wholemeal toast in the morening, rather than craving dead pig in a floury white bap slathered with ketchup.

I now positively look forward to a night off the sauce (and a morning off the ketchup).

So if I have any resolutions, they are to try lots of new things and keep varying my routine, to try and be less repetetive and obsessive. It's a fine line between having a different filling in my sandwich every lunchtime and obsessively needing to have a different filling in my sandwich every lunchtime, but even that would be better than having the same filling in my sandwich every lunchtime.

I think some of my new found energy comes from the cold I have been harbouring for about six weeks finally coming to a head. I felt like death for the first two weeks of the year, but now feel wonderful. So I shall go swimming tomorrow night. And perhaps not count the number of lengths I do. No - that would be unthinkable.

A symptom of my new momentum is that I finally got round to getting someone to come around and look at my gas hob, on which only half the rings currently work. It is astonishing how many meals can be prepared with two rings. But I needed three last week for my first ever attempt at sausage and mash (Actually Lincolnshire sausage with white wine, mushtoom, and apples - see, so finally got round to it. The people I have dealt with on the phone sound bored and unfriendly. I stayed off work this morning to wait for the main, but at 9:30 got a phone call telling me he would be coming tomorrow. I affected the air of a very busy person and asked "what time tomorrow?". I was angrier when I thought though, because I realised I had called the lady a nasty word slightly before I put the 'phone down.

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